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Every breakup is a pain..

Every breakup is a pain... 

There is a question. 

Do you know how to get through a breakup? 

My way of building competent relationships began 8 years ago. 

I had been left alone... In an empty flat ... Without him... By my own doing...

My heart was broken and filled with pain.

Tears flew down my cheeks and thoughts 💭 swirled in my head! 

I sat down on the sofa that had been so comfortable and warm, where we watched movies together, lying under the blanket during long winter nights. 

The thought of falling asleep and waking up alone, the prospect of building my life and my plans without him immersed me in a state of grief.

I was sorry for our dreams that now wouldn’t come true, due to the breakup that had been my conscious decision.

The next morning it didn’t get easier.

I tried to dive into my feelings, and travel across them as far as I could—in accordance with the psychologists’ advice.

I was crying all day long—my mind visiting the places we used to walk, laugh, and feel happy together. 

I was reflecting over past relationships as I had never done before.

I was crying for what had hurt me. 

I was sad every day among the beautiful parks and alleys. 

In the house there were a lot of memories of us... 

I learned every step on the road of loss leading me to a house of grief.

A sudden and incredible discovery arrived: a constantly emerging ability to live without pain. It was growing from the very depth of my heart. 

Who or what was the author of that revelation? 

The answer was sharp and naked like lightning in the darkness of the night. 

It was me myself. 

The new me, who had become forgotten had left fate behind and almost buried herself under the ruins of sorrows; it was the real me! 

I also realized that she (unexpectedly) appeared because of another part of myself that had been suffering. 

And that very part of myself was extremely important for me: that grieving little girl had taught me how to overcome the pain, how to become stronger because she had come through destructive feelings and emotions before.

Those two parts of myself have helped each other and joined together to form a strong, whole-hearted personality. 

So, here I am! 

Let me give you a piece of advice: every kind of situation including critical ones may happen in our lives. The ability to manage a certain situation will form your personal attitude towards the world you live in and the people surrounding you. 

As a result, it’s easier to lock yourself up and stop trusting the world to avoid going through the emotions and feelings, and the aches of transformation. 

So, how do you get out of a crisis in the shortest possible time? 

What can help you to cope with a situation like that? 

  1. Recommended: give yourself some time to relax (stress relief—massage, meditation, talking to a psychologist) switch on the will; analyze the situation! 

  2. Stop asking yourself “why...” has it happened and start figuring out “what has it happened for?”  The first question will make you dive into the past, and the second will make you reach out for a solution in the future.

  3. Make a list of all the important questions like: “What encourages me?” “What makes me feel good?”  “What entertains me?” etc...

  4. Try to share your situation with your friends or relatives—perhaps, they have also come through something similar. 

  5. Take up any kind of sport: you will be rewarded with endorphins that produce positive emotions.

Just be happy! 

Don’t deny the fact the crisis exists. The sooner you realize it does the more chance of getting through it you have. 

Don’t go to night clubs, bars, shopping...

Don’t use substances which may excite your nervous system.  

A complete prohibition of alcohol and other stimulating substances is desirable.  

 It may seem to you that the joy of life has returned while using alcohol or drugs, but that is a misleading feeling.  

As soon as you get sober, longing will be doubled. 

By Mary Bohan


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